One of the toughest challenges an Artistic Director faces is handling stage mothers. Often, the most talented artists are those with the "most" stage moms. Understandably so. Stage moms gain their names because of their very high-level involvement in their children's artistic endeavors or careers. The connotation, however, has become sorely negative because many have overstepped the bounds. And the Artistic Director has no choice but to deal with them.
Despite the stigma to the name, there is merit to being a stage mom. In my ballet school, for example, the dancers who have made it to the international stage are those whose moms are very involved in their daughters' dance careers. They are there almost every class, every rehearsal, and certainly every performance. They do not only offer their physical presence; they also offer their two cents' worth on everything! Name the country's ballerinas, and you can be sure they have a stage mom right next to them.
Personally, I like stage moms. It makes it easier for me when the parent understands the dynamics and demands of our extremely competitive art. When parents have that kind of understanding, the terms become clearer and the procedure of rising to the top becomes defined. Oftentimes, I get parents who are highly involved with their kids when they are very young. Then, they start letting go when the children reach pre-teens, which is probably the most critical time when the parents are most needed.
My colleagues will agree that it is easy to promise the stars when the parents are right behind their children, especially in this art called ballet where costs are high and training/rehearsal schedules are painfully rigorous. Conversely, I have also seen much talent go to waste because parents let the reins go at some point.
As a Mom, I, too, am unashamedly a stage mom. Not to worry, I know the boundaries. But if this term means getting involved in my sons' lives as called for, whether they are 5 or 25, I will play the part.
And all the stage moms say, Amen!
08 November 2009
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3 comments:
November 8, 2009 at 9:04 AM
if being a stage mom means propelling our children to reach their dreams, then i am one. I may not be there at every rehearsal or at every class, but I make sure I am there when he comes home at night to listen to him map out his dreams. And I am there to make sure the dreams are reachable for him.
“Stage moms” know the cost. They understand the demand. But stage moms too should know their place in their children’s lives. They should not dictate but rather facilitate. They should let their children reach for their own dreams and not live out the dreams they (stage moms) once had.
November 12, 2009 at 6:42 PM
Amen! Ladies, I agree with you, to be a stage mom is necessary and high calling. We just need to be careful that we do not overstep and risk becoming bullies to our own children =)
Hehe, shameless plugging, check out my stage mom posting... http://abimapuacabanilla.blogspot.com/
November 12, 2009 at 8:19 PM
I am a stage Mom too if it means that I want my son to reach his fullest potential.
I love this article. Food for serious thought. Please keep them coming?
I am posting in the ABAP newsletter yahoogroups site. Many can learn from it. You are like Yoda of Star Wars. Seriously.
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